The Price of Dinner

This in from Elle:

On my first date with Doug, I spent a solid hour telling him about my eccentric and sometimes outrageous mother. On my second date with Doug (btw he is now my husband) nothing I said could have prepared him for what happened that night. After a great dinner of Mexican food and a few too many margaritas, we hailed a cab to head uptown. We lived close to one another so it was unclear how the date would end. It looked likely that the cab would drop us at our respective apartments.

While in the cab, my phone rang and it was my mother. How I wish I had let that call go to voicemail but being the good daughter that I am, I picked up on the first ring.

Mom: “Elle – where are you?”

Me: “Doug and I just finished dinner and we’re heading home now, what’s up?”

Mom: “How was dinner? Who paid?”

Me: “Mom! Who cares who paid?”

Mom: “Just tell me who paid!”

Me: “Don’t worry Mom, Doug did.”

Doug was smiling next to me – I had prepared him for the intrusive behavior and he seemed entertained by the back-and-forth. Then my mom asked to speak to him. Without bothering to ask why I handed the phone over. Doug had the phone to pressed to his ear but I could hear my mom talking to him. I was sure I misheard what she said. I hoped I misheard what she said. But unfortunately, I hadn’t misheard.

My mom said, “Doug, so nice to finally speak to you. I’ve heard such good things about you. So you paid for dinner? Well take Elle home and make sure she earns it!”

Top that mom.